Let's Buy a New Car!

"notsomethingstructural" (notsomethingstructural) 08/03/2016 at 15:50 • Filed to: None

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You finally made it! You’re 6 years out of school, and all the roommates, and 60 hour work weeks, and paying cash for all your cars, and ramen noodles WAY past college, well, it served you well. You’ve finally gathered $50,000 worth of pocket change, deferred 401(k) contributions, and sketchy financing to get yourself a REAL god damn car. A NEW car, complete with smell and a warranty and the chance to wash and wax it every freggin Sunday. Congrats! 50 large is a lot of money and buys a lot of car.

But you have some standards. The first is a leftover taste in your mouth from your older brother’s V6 ‘Stang, which you bought after high school and drove for 3 months before the head gasket blew. (Which led you to give your great aunt $600 for an old Grand Am, which then proceeded to blow the slushbox some 10 weeks after that.) So, no domestics for you, right or wrong. And no BMW’s or Mercedes, if for nothing else because you haven’t hit 30 yet. 3 pedal is a must, and needs to seat 4. You’ve got a whole fifty thousand smackeroos to spend. Pretty basic stuff here.

LET’S SEE WHAT WE GOT! We’ll start the bidding at $35,000! Here’s your coupes and sedans:

That’s it. Your 4 choices:
- One with no chance of sniffing a 6-second 0-60
- A prisoner walking the green mile
- A WRX
- A nicer WRX.

Fine. Suppose you can swing a 2 seater. You’ll add to the fray: the 370z, which looks pretty damn close to the same “this was worth the wait?” car as 14 years ago; the Fiat 124 Spider, a non-existant, more expensive, and worse Miata; and the Miata, which is a Miata.

Pictured: All the Fiat 124 Spiders you were planning to test drive within 150 miles

OK this isn’t going great. Let’s toss in hatchbacks and ditch the price floor. Some more illuminating options for you:

A car that calls itself “Mini” despite weighing more than a ‘95 Buick Regal.

An “actual” Mini, where the nicest thing Car and Driver could say was “The JCW tends to crash its way through bumps, evocative of a brick on casters.”

The ol’ Scion tC Release Series 10.0 Coupe [has anureism], the name of a Real Car.

A GTI, which topping out at some-$34k risks depreciating the full MSRP of a Scion tC Release Series 10.0 the moment it’s driven off the lot (thanks Dieselgate), AND

FR-S/BRZ, which, fine.

(Don’t forget you can always scoop up a Kia Forte, Nissan Versa, or Mazda3 in a 6MT, because nothing says “I’m not getting there anymore! I’VE ALREADY ARRIVED!” like a fucking Nissan Versa.)

Again, this is what’s out there with fifty thousand fucking dollars at your disposal. Your BMW offerings are a 328i. END OF LIST. Your Benz offerings are WHOOPS MERCEDES WONT SELL YOU A MANUAL YOU PLEBE. Aside from the obvious Challenger/Camaro/Mustang, your only other RWD/MT option is, oddly, a Cadillac ATS which comes with a 2.0 Turbo. Huh. Didn’t see that coming.

The point of all of this, is as cynical as you want to be about Hyundai’s outlook and prospects and #BRANDING, they killed off one of arguably four “true” sports cars left on the market under Fifty Thousand Fucking Dollars, leaving the 370Z, the FR-S and the Miata. That’s it, folks. The Genesis Coupe, you could argue, was the FR-S with the missing 100 horsepower, the 2 more “seats” than the Z and Miata, and $20,000 cheaper than the tip-tier-but-not-quite-M-series BMW’s. I mean, I get that “Hyundai Sports Car” writes its own jokes, but it’s got a lot more in common with the old 300Z, RX-7/RX-8, G35, Supra, IS300, etc., then literally anything else still on the market.

Goodbye sweet prince

So for all the WE NEED MOER HORESPOWER people and the SAVE THE MANUELS people and the RWD purists and even those betwixt just lamenting the end of driver-centric product offerings, the Genesis Coupe should have checked all the boxes. Maybe it did, maybe it didn’t. But it doesn’t matter, because a few months from now, it’s gone. And that sucks.

Here’s to the Genesis Coupe. Let’s pour one out.

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notsomethingstructural (aka !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) is an amateur listicle purveyor and the author of “ !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ”. He co-authored the record-setting #WorstSongBracket and is terrible at Twitter.

Party-vi > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 15:56

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Who the fuck has $50,000 saved by 28? I’m 28 and I’m far off that number, even with a decently average salary.

XJDano > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 15:58

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Not enough 60 hour work weeks then.

Party-vi > XJDano 08/03/2016 at 16:00

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Damn! I knew I was missing something.

notsomethingstructural > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:00

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Not me that’s for sure, but it does say the number includes sketchy financing and poor retirement choices up there

Pickup_man > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:01

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Someone who gets paid a shit load and doesn’t have any loans? Not sure how else that would happen because at 25 I don’t get paid all that bad, have a wife who gets paid pretty well, and I live in the midwest, about the best place you can get when it comes to cost of living and I sure as shit* wont have $50,000 worth of “pocket change” in two-three years time.

*Unless miracles happen.

djmt1 > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:02

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I know where my theoretical 50K would go.

Berang > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:04

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More like 16 years out of school in this economy.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:05

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I think the $50k was meant to be a combo of savings, foregone 401(k) contributions, and sketchy financing. I know when I was 28 I still was paying off student loans!

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > XJDano 08/03/2016 at 16:07

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Unfortunately when you’re salary those 20 extra hours don’t translate to an extra 50% pay. haha

PowderHound > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:07

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I’m almost 27 and I got about tree fiddy

Decay buys too many beaters > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:07

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I did, but then I was stupid, went and bought a house rather than a cool car.

Tripper > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:10

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This does not vibe with your rules, but I would Go with an S5, and get every option my heart desired including an individual paint color. Put $40k down, finance the rest, and leave the other 10k in the bank (or wherever) for emergencies.

citizennick > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:12

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You’re 28? You have the online repertoite of a 48 year old.

Decay buys too many beaters > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:14

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The problem with the Genesis, is that is was not all that great to drive. I went in, all brand snobbery aside, and took a test drive ready to walk out with keys. The car didn’t do anything for me at all, it felt heavy and a little sloppy (sort of like a lightened mustang lol).

I went and bought an FR-S instead.

Party-vi > citizennick 08/03/2016 at 16:14

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I am very crotchety.

Party-vi > haveacarortwoorthree2 08/03/2016 at 16:15

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ah got it.

Party-vi > Pickup_man 08/03/2016 at 16:16

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My wife takes issue with my salary because she has a real degree and makes less. Meanwhile my degree is essentially framed macaroni art.

Party-vi > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:17

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Nobody said I was suppose to read and comprehend.

RallyWrench > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:19

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HAHAHAHAHA savings

notsomethingstructural > Decay buys too many beaters 08/03/2016 at 16:21

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Yeah, it’s hard to find a lot of writing about the 3.8 instead of the turbo but that’s the impression I get unfortunately. Kind of like the Altima 3.5 SE-R that was around some time ago - sounds great on paper but has a couple missing links.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:22

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There is someone about this list/argument that I’m not crazy about but I can’t put my finger on it. For one thing, if you’ve got $50,000, you are just shy of corvette and 718 money. Might be worth scrounging for another year. Second, all of the cars you dismiss have merits. I’ve stood up for the 370z before, but let me say it again, any car that has a skidpad number of 1.0g and gets to 60 in under 5 seconds can’t be that bad; especially when you can get it for $30k.

You’re right that it’s sad anytime an affordable small rear wheel drive car gets discontinued. However, it’s not a market that’s typically been flush with cars. However, the Genesis coupe being discontinued is probably leading to something coming from Genesis and less of a complete end of the model.

Party-vi > RallyWrench 08/03/2016 at 16:22

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“savings”

XJDano > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow 08/03/2016 at 16:23

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In the post it said something about being salary but all the college and beater cars & 60 hour weeks were behind you. So not enough 60 hour weeks in the past, that’s kinda what I meant.

notsomethingstructural > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:24

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Wow like my 3rd oppo post and I’m already getting the tl;dr treatment I guess I better apply for Doug’s vacancy

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > XJDano 08/03/2016 at 16:24

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Ahhh gotchya.

XJDano > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:25

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I did a 60 hour week last week, today it was worth it but damn last week sucked. And I wasn’t even in the tunnel. (Today is payday).

I did walk 7-10 miles per day last week.

Party-vi > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:31

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It’s the details that I skip over - I’m apparently old and wizened.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:32

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In show biz I’ve had 76 hours during the Oracle show one week. Probably my record.

notsomethingstructural > Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle 08/03/2016 at 16:32

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I’m not trying to say the Genesis Coupe is about to be the next “all problems can be solved with Miata” or anything, just that the market for 2+2 RWD coupes is literally nonexistent under $50k- at least, outside pony cars, which are certainly better than 15 years ago, but still. A total lack of Japanese-made 4 sweaters has literally never been seen and I gave a half dozen examples of ones that go back to... the 70's?

My hopes are high for Hyundai going forward, I always rooted for both the GC and the Velociter, and I’m sure I’ll root for whatever’s next. And as for the Z, I’ve driven them, they’re excellent sports cars but they are fuckin hideous.

Pickup_man > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:37

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I’m almost in the opposite situation, my wife gets paid pretty well for a RN only three years out of school, where as I get paid pretty poorly for someone with and engineering degree. Not that I take issue with my wife’s salary, I’m really happy for her, just that I can’t seem to find a job that I’m interested in that will pay me what the average engineer would be paid.

Party-vi > Pickup_man 08/03/2016 at 16:38

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It’s the interest part that is holding you back. I have no interest in construction (well, some interest but it’s not related to the actual construction work) and I’ve been at it for a decade.

E90M3 > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:39

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I would have more than that of I didn't buy my M3, I also was working 12 hour days everyday.

Honeybunchesofgoats > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:41

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$50k down, $11.4k financed. Boom.

notsomethingstructural > Pickup_man 08/03/2016 at 16:41

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What kind of engineering? Structural PE here.

Decay buys too many beaters > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:43

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It’s a shame, I really wanted to like it, the spec sheets wanted me to like it. I knew the aftermarket can solve a lot of the issues, and that’s something I am totally comfortable persuing.

...But it’s kind of hard to describe, every car I’ve bought, flawed or not, always shows in stock form faint glimmers of what it can be with the right changes and enhancements. For example, the FR-S, despite the fairly gutless engine and the grip-less tires, gave me the impression right away that it was only a few choice changes away from being a legitimate M3/Caymen fighter around my local road courses. The Genesis, just didn’t make me feel anything at all, and a sportscar really should (at the most basic level) be an emotional purchase, otherwise we’d all just drive hot hatches.

notsomethingstructural > Tripper 08/03/2016 at 16:44

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Man you broke more rules than I realized I had. But I do like the Audi S-series more than BMW as long as they’re warrantied.

Pickup_man > Party-vi 08/03/2016 at 16:44

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It’s mostly interest, and partly the area I’m in. I really like the design aspect of engineering, but most everything around me is process engineering, which I’ve done a bit of and am not very interested in.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:45

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I think it would be nice if the Americans jumped in the game with something smaller now that pony cars have gotten so big.

I wonder if more people are not trying to have one car to serve multiple roles. Maybe in the 80s more people were like, “I want a car that’s sporty and seats four,” and now people say, “screw it, I’ll get a convertible and a suv.”

notsomethingstructural > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/03/2016 at 16:46

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[buzzer noise]

THE 50k INCLUDED FINANCING

[trap door opens, Honeybunchesofgoats’ chair disappears into floor]

Pickup_man > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:51

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Mechanical/Design. The issue is I took a job as an Engineering Tech, because it was right around home, in an area that both my wife and I wanted to be in, and I was excited about the job because it was working with and designing pickup accessories, something that I really enjoy. They pay pretty fairly for a tech, but not very long after I started I began taking on more and more design engineer work, which is what I wanted, but the pay hasn’t exactly come with. There is an engineer here retiring at the end of the year and I’m going to be taking over most of his responsibilities. I might hang on until next year to see if they bump my pay to reflect that, if not I won’t be here too much longer.

Honeybunchesofgoats > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:52

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:/

notsomethingstructural > Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle 08/03/2016 at 16:53

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But when has America ever done RWD that wasn’t a pony car or Corvette? Leave aside Chrysler JUST IGNORE CHRYSLER here for a sec.

I’m not trying to say you’re wrong, just this is uncharted water for Murica and I can’t imagine them signing up to jump on the Titanic when even successful makers are like eh fuck this.

Ford and Chevy if you’re reading this prove me wrong (aw hell you too Chrysler).

E90M3 > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 16:56

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What I did with that kind of money. Screw a new car, mainly cause it was 2014 and they didn’t make the M3 that year. 53k after taxes and registration, 23k down, 30k financed. Bought in July 2104, paid off August 2015. I’m currently 26.

notsomethingstructural > E90M3 08/03/2016 at 17:05

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Hell yeah life is for living. Here’s how I spent mine - $24000 ALL CASH BABBY

Sorry that should read $2400 we’re working on correcting it

Hammerdown > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 17:07

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It’s technically Australian

$50,970

https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/…

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 17:08

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I honestly don’t know cars well enough to know if there is a history(except the Capri below) and I’m not saying they will, just I wish they would. When the fox body was a compact they didn’t really need it but now that the mustang is the size and weight of my e34 BMW 5 series, it may make more sense.

I know of the Capri cause I wanted one with a 2.3t from a thunderbird: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Capr…

arl > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 17:19

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Honda Accord Coupe, v6, manual.

Quick, has nice interior (leather, not the crappy cloth like in my Accord Sport,) and your could even get the HFP package with 19" rims (rimz yo,) and still come out at around 34k-ish with some haggling.

pjhusa > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 17:20

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Your manual BMW options:

230i

230i xDrive

M240i

M240i xDrive

320i

320i xDrive

330i

330i xDrive

328d

328d xDrive

340i

340i xDrive

430i

430i xDrive

440i

440i xDrive

That’s a lot more than just the 328i.

And the 2-Series fits four people just like how the Genesis fits four.

notsomethingstructural > pjhusa 08/03/2016 at 17:44

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That’s correct. Here’s all those manual BMW’s within 250 miles of NYC for under $50k:

gawdzillla > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 17:47

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I HAVE to buy the chevy SS

with that 20-30% off you can get it for under 40k out the door

pjhusa > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 18:08

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That's why you always order these types of cars. Dealers always throw on extra crap.

E90M3 > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 18:08

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If you've got the money, might as well enjoy it

notsomethingstructural > pjhusa 08/03/2016 at 18:19

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I mean, I guess, 12 week wait isn’t terrible, but good luck haggling on that

pjhusa > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 18:24

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Haggling on an order isn't as bad as you think

kanadanmajava1 > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 18:27

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No. I will not buy a new car. I’ll rather buy old and used ones and mess with them. $50,000 is enough for many fun used cars but hardly enough to buy any exciting new car.

E92M3 > notsomethingstructural 08/03/2016 at 18:37

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230i manual with the track package is all the car you need. You don’t need to be 30 yrs old to drive a 2 series. But since you’re buying new, it could last you thru your 30's. Or you could always buy a WRX, and realize you look like a flatbill wearing, vaping, boy racer driving it in 3 years.

notsomethingstructural > kanadanmajava1 08/03/2016 at 18:50

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Agree with you entirely - in a roundabout sense that's the point this is making. Though what will be our next used cars 

notsomethingstructural > E92M3 08/03/2016 at 19:09

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The 2 series is fine and there’s a lot to like about it, but $50k for the second(?) cheapest model in BMW’s lineup is a tough pill to swallow

notsomethingstructural > arl 08/04/2016 at 09:35

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They’re not bad cars, it’s just that no ones ever pulled up to a client luncheon with an Accord and they said nice car. The V6 accords have always been underappreciated

notsomethingstructural > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 08/04/2016 at 09:35

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I've cracked 70 but not sure about 75. It's horrible.

V12 Jake- Hittin' Switches > notsomethingstructural 08/21/2016 at 20:09

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Or do what I did and buy a Bi-Turbo V12 Mercedes S600 and a Lexus LS400 and have a pile of cash sitting left over. 6 years out of college too boot !